Pet Peeve Wednesday: Disney Edition

I grew up watching Disney movies.  Beauty and the Beast was my favorite, closely followed by The Little Mermaid.  I watched them to the point where my parents probably wished they could burn all of the VHS tapes.  Years later, I still enjoy popping them in our old-school-VHS-player some nights and singing along obnoxiously to all the songs.  I've noticed a few things as I've gotten older, though.

Let's start with Pocahontas.

1)  No one's hair looks that good when it is blowing in the wind.  More likely, your hair will look like something her pet raccoon would live in.

2)  Speaking of pet raccoons -- why do all of these Disney princesses seem to be best buds with wild animals?  Are there not enough real people around?  I don't know about you, but if my most meaningful relationship was with a crab or raccoon, I would seriously start questioning my socializing skills.

Moving on to The Little Mermaid.

3)  Mermaid or not, that shell bra would chafe.

4)  And isn't she supposed to be sixteen or something?  I don't know about you, but my parents would lock me in my room if I pranced around in a shell bra.

And we can't forget Aladdin.

5)  Monkeys are actually pretty vicious creatures in real life.  This means that Abu probably would have ripped Aladdin's face off somewhere in the first ten minutes of that film.

6)  Unless there were handles to hold on to, you would fall off that magic carpet.  And yes, I realize that the whole magic-carpet-thing means that it defies logic.  And gravity.